There is a great deal written and discussed in the missionary community about cross-cultural conflict, and about the effort needed to more deeply understand people in other cultures, and to extend grace and be humble where understanding is still lacking.
I only wish we had the same compassion, grace and commitment to understand each other in our own cultures.
After 8 years of living in cultural contexts other than the one where I grew up, I've noticed that I am much more prepared and consciously intentional about trying to give grace, have patience and strive to better understand the people of the culture I live in than I am with people from my own country and culture. I've seen the same in others from my country, as well.
Why do we offer less grace and compassion to people from our own cultures than we do to people of other cultures? Why do we have so little desire to understand the peoples from our own nations who think and live differently than we do?
I've started reading the book Cross-Cultural Conflict, by Duane Elmer, and almost everything I have read so far pertains no differently to my interactions with people of my own culture than to my interactions with people of a different culture.
When I think about the polarized political climate at home, in which many people from each political camp suspect the worst of those they disagree with, treating them with contempt and derision rather than a humble desire to understand why they believe what they believe, I find that the passages of this book have direct application. I feel convicted in myself.
In a way, we could imagine that people with different political beliefs are actually people from different cultures -- because in a lot of ways, they are. When we take that approach, we can more easily develop the mindset of realizing that we simply may not understand why the other thinks or lives the way they do, and that making an effort to understand them will bring greater peace, reconciliation and the ability to work together -- rather than against one another -- to find solutions and implement them effectively.
Here are some great passages from Elmer's book that I read through a lens of applying to my own culture, particularly the political climate and disagreements:
"I learned it is unwise to make quick judgments about people's motives and character. It takes time, conversations, questions, listening and the whole range of learning skills to form accurate perceptions about people who are different from me. I must suspend judgment, maintain an open mind and seek more information (especially from those people I am prone to judge) before drawing conclusions. If I am too quick to judge or draw a conclusion, my mind closes, learning stops, and the potential for building a relationship is lost. My assessment of others must be a conscious, intentional process, or I am likely to slip into my old habits and to do an injustice to people whom Christ loves and for whom he died." (17)
"To celebrate creation is to celebrate diversity, including diversities of people (including diversity of viewpoints -- my comment). And we cannot celebrate out of ignorance. Genuine celebration comes from genuine appreciation. This requires learning and understanding, and these are incompatible with egocentrism and superiority." (13)
"We are called to love all people. But can I truly love someone I do not, at least in some measure, understand? Love requires some understanding of its object...." (13)
"A measure of security comes when I know which 'box' a person fits into, because then I know how to treat him or her. I do not need to get acquainted with the person before I judge him or her. At that point I have begun to treat people like objects and no longer see each one as a unique, esteemed human being designed by God and worthy of my individualized and respectful attention." (19)
"The interpretation we provide virtually always attributes a negative characteristic and motivation to the other person. We rarely give people the benefit of the doubt when they do something we don't understand.... Westerners are especially quick to attach some deficiency to the other person whenever confusion arises. You can easily see how this creates conflict when there was none, or aggravates minor conflicts into major ones." (20)
How much conflict, hostility and gridlock would be brought to peace and reconciliation if we all would internalize the ideas presented here, and begin to intentionally approach with more grace, humility and understanding those people in our own nations and cultures who are different from us in political viewpoints, economic statuses (I'm including the rich or successful people who are often treated with contempt, suspicion or objectification), or regional areas of our own nations. What if we worked harder to give grace and seek to more deeply understand our co-laborers in ministry, our neighbors, family members and friends?
"Avoid the cycle altogether. Learn to put on that other set of lenses. It takes patience, but it's not hard to do." (17)
I only wish we had the same compassion, grace and commitment to understand each other in our own cultures.
After 8 years of living in cultural contexts other than the one where I grew up, I've noticed that I am much more prepared and consciously intentional about trying to give grace, have patience and strive to better understand the people of the culture I live in than I am with people from my own country and culture. I've seen the same in others from my country, as well.
Why do we offer less grace and compassion to people from our own cultures than we do to people of other cultures? Why do we have so little desire to understand the peoples from our own nations who think and live differently than we do?
I've started reading the book Cross-Cultural Conflict, by Duane Elmer, and almost everything I have read so far pertains no differently to my interactions with people of my own culture than to my interactions with people of a different culture.
When I think about the polarized political climate at home, in which many people from each political camp suspect the worst of those they disagree with, treating them with contempt and derision rather than a humble desire to understand why they believe what they believe, I find that the passages of this book have direct application. I feel convicted in myself.
In a way, we could imagine that people with different political beliefs are actually people from different cultures -- because in a lot of ways, they are. When we take that approach, we can more easily develop the mindset of realizing that we simply may not understand why the other thinks or lives the way they do, and that making an effort to understand them will bring greater peace, reconciliation and the ability to work together -- rather than against one another -- to find solutions and implement them effectively.
Here are some great passages from Elmer's book that I read through a lens of applying to my own culture, particularly the political climate and disagreements:
"I learned it is unwise to make quick judgments about people's motives and character. It takes time, conversations, questions, listening and the whole range of learning skills to form accurate perceptions about people who are different from me. I must suspend judgment, maintain an open mind and seek more information (especially from those people I am prone to judge) before drawing conclusions. If I am too quick to judge or draw a conclusion, my mind closes, learning stops, and the potential for building a relationship is lost. My assessment of others must be a conscious, intentional process, or I am likely to slip into my old habits and to do an injustice to people whom Christ loves and for whom he died." (17)
"To celebrate creation is to celebrate diversity, including diversities of people (including diversity of viewpoints -- my comment). And we cannot celebrate out of ignorance. Genuine celebration comes from genuine appreciation. This requires learning and understanding, and these are incompatible with egocentrism and superiority." (13)
"We are called to love all people. But can I truly love someone I do not, at least in some measure, understand? Love requires some understanding of its object...." (13)
"A measure of security comes when I know which 'box' a person fits into, because then I know how to treat him or her. I do not need to get acquainted with the person before I judge him or her. At that point I have begun to treat people like objects and no longer see each one as a unique, esteemed human being designed by God and worthy of my individualized and respectful attention." (19)
"The interpretation we provide virtually always attributes a negative characteristic and motivation to the other person. We rarely give people the benefit of the doubt when they do something we don't understand.... Westerners are especially quick to attach some deficiency to the other person whenever confusion arises. You can easily see how this creates conflict when there was none, or aggravates minor conflicts into major ones." (20)
How much conflict, hostility and gridlock would be brought to peace and reconciliation if we all would internalize the ideas presented here, and begin to intentionally approach with more grace, humility and understanding those people in our own nations and cultures who are different from us in political viewpoints, economic statuses (I'm including the rich or successful people who are often treated with contempt, suspicion or objectification), or regional areas of our own nations. What if we worked harder to give grace and seek to more deeply understand our co-laborers in ministry, our neighbors, family members and friends?
"Avoid the cycle altogether. Learn to put on that other set of lenses. It takes patience, but it's not hard to do." (17)
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